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May. 29th, 2006 @ 03:58 pm @#$%!!
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Soul Position- Oxford You Really Owe Me
Maddie's old roomate moved out several weeks ago, so I moved in. I'm excited to say I've got my own place, and I'm living right down the street from my mom. :)
it's lovely.
it's just what I need. my own space. I'm so satisfied with it...
Now, I want to come home... all the time- It's my favorite place.


I've got alllll of my computer shit over here, and praise the lord, i've got internet again. =D'


I love my friends. and i love you maddie. <3 thankyou
About this Entry
scream
May. 3rd, 2006 @ 08:58 pm (no subject)
Current Location: maddie's living room
Current Mood: buzzed
Current Music: the boys, watching a movie....
mmmmmmm.

my life will be beautiful
if I make it that way....
I create myself by the minute. my soul. The size of my waist.
Me, is not to be some day: found.
I'm here.
I've made myself, adjusted, succombed... in every way.
and on the topic of my hardships
well, theres just too much to say.



"as a child I was afraid of the storm.... but now I welcome the rain...."
About this Entry
Apr. 14th, 2006 @ 09:31 pm i got an idea.... you should get a tattoo that says warning
Current Location: atlantic
Current Mood: naughty
Current Music: D4L BUSTAS
"i tend to go into self-destruct mode later into my relationships...creating conflict(rip it to fucking shreds, feeeeed me false notions..)"..... Ohhhh but did I forget to mention- I'd turn the entire thing around on you.. after all is said and done?? Funny I do this over and over again, not realizing I'M the crazy one!
fuck.

but this....wass sooooo perfect. or sounded that way sometimes.

...not enough to be pattern-defeating.

your aura is just not good enough.

there's missing compounds.

missing pieces.

skewed awareness.

poor thing.
have a happy next affair.
with less weeping, I hope.

maybe someday repitition will be the key.
About this Entry
Feb. 15th, 2006 @ 08:39 pm (no subject)
soooo helllllo to all.
gimme some looove
About this Entry
Jun. 14th, 2005 @ 03:37 pm blah blah blah
Current Mood: busy
But as for me I'm coming to my final failure
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
And ended up becoming something other
Than what I had planned to be


:)
About this Entry
scream
May. 23rd, 2005 @ 12:40 am (no subject)
Current Mood: cough supressants, pleaseee
Current Music: Bang Gang- Sleep
About this Entry
scream
May. 19th, 2005 @ 01:30 am livejournal.
Current Mood: bored but busy?
Current Music: Hrvatski- ewc4
I don't really want this thing anymore. I've had a livejournal for atleast 5 or 6 years?, and never really felt the urge to delete mine or anything until recently. (although someone did delete over 3 years of entries off my last livejournal for me, how kind)

For the sake of how often I change my mind, there will be no terminating at the moment. We'll see though.
About this Entry
scream
May. 17th, 2005 @ 08:58 am aching awaits just to relocate you<3
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: Telephone Jim Jesus- Struck By Falling Object


About this Entry
May. 11th, 2005 @ 04:06 am (no subject)
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: S.A. Smash- The Harvest



I-ya,
I against I,
Flesh of my flesh,
And mind of my mind,
Two of a kind but one won't survive,
My images reflect in the enemies eye,
And his images reflect in mine the same time,
About this Entry
purge
May. 10th, 2005 @ 10:28 am (no subject)
Current Mood: thirsty
Current Music: Kid606- When I Want a Gun, Yeah
About this Entry
May. 9th, 2005 @ 10:52 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: homeworkilove
ok someone fess up.





THAT LAST POST WAS NOT MADE BY ME/ NOR HAVE I EVER SEEN THAT HORRID PICTURE OF MYSELF FROM LAST SUMMER.


hahaha i'm glad i don't look like that anymore
About this Entry
May. 9th, 2005 @ 08:52 pm (no subject)
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
About this Entry
May. 9th, 2005 @ 01:51 am (no subject)
Current Mood: drained.
Current Music: Sixtoo- The Mile-end Artbike/Suicide M




someone inform me on how to keep your ass while losing weight, or someone give me some information/advice on perhaps targetting certain parts of the body during exercize... or whatever, etc. i'm fishing for any random advice.
About this Entry
scream
May. 3rd, 2005 @ 03:37 pm honestly, no matter what you hear me say
Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Cex- am i soundboy
i love my life.
About this Entry
scream
May. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:25 am (no subject)
Current Mood: bouncy
About this Entry
scream
May. 2nd, 2005 @ 01:40 am when i get this high my head becomes a hospital
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Trail of Dead- It Was There That I Saw You
you were so beautiful to me
to me
songs you sang
creep up
on me
goodbye, goodbye
About this Entry
scream
Apr. 27th, 2005 @ 03:42 am my efforts feel overrated. so does photography.
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Adam Freeland- Burn The Clock





Dressed in beauty not her own
"You brought me here, now take me home."
About this Entry
scream
Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 12:39 am (no subject)
Current Mood: high
Current Music: Arovane- A Secret
About this Entry
purge
Apr. 22nd, 2005 @ 04:32 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: jubilant
Current Music: dead prez- be healthy
For the next seven days, deviantART has especially chosen YOU to surf the largest art community on earth in style; with a FREE one week trial subscription.

There is no catch, no strings attached, nothing!

enjoy!





So am I really that special or are there many of you long-time-free-account "deviants" that are suddenly recieving a free trial week?



--

On another note, I have been listening to my body a lot recently. Supplying what it demands. I love it. Exercize, water, vitamins, water, right amount of sleep, water, short naps when I need them. No cigarettes, yuckie. Managing my time based on my body/mind clock. I don't deprive myself of food as much as I used to, or at all really. But I also don't put on weight all easy-like from the food I DO eat, because I'm doing everything else properly (exercize, enough water, etc). GO METABOLISM! And ofcourse, healthy eating/staying away from fast foods and junk, etc, has never been a struggle for me. The nuerologist checked all my vitals, and said I have a good heart.

Mentally, I've been shaping up as well. But a lot of the physical improvements I have made, have had wonderful direct effects on my mental.

That's another story though.
About this Entry
scream
Apr. 20th, 2005 @ 11:54 pm i never brag how real i keep it cause its a secret
Current Mood: silly
Current Music: Mr. Lif- Earthcrusher




aww, chill again. isn't he photogenic? He gets lots of pitcures taken of him, not sure if he absolutely hates it or not.


I like my job thus far, and I happen to fancy retail.

smile.





I had several doctor appointments today, one being a short visit with my nuerologist whom I hadn't seen in a good while. He started me on Wellbutrin. I'm excited about taking a new med- I have been with the same combination for years now. I'm stable currently, cause of the depakote I take for bipolar and mood swings, etc.
I'm just still sickly depressed because I ditched my zoloft months ago.

Anyone else take wellbutrin? Personal experiences with it? How was it for you? Oh, and I don't need any seizure awareness talk, I'm on one of the strongest anti-seizures medications already, and I've done my proper research.



hmmm.
About this Entry
scream
Apr. 17th, 2005 @ 08:30 pm just be-
Current Mood: out of order.
Current Music: MF Grimm- dedicated




something reliable that doesnt throw me flat onto my face when it's gone.

or away for the weekend. weeks. months.

such a raw feeling for something is exciting, but I don't feel like being crazy anymore.

lets work something out.

something that won't kill us.


onelikejesss(9:39:39 PM): i dont know where to draw the line between fear and simply knowing what's better or worse for me




About this Entry
purge
Apr. 14th, 2005 @ 12:31 am halotipping
Current Mood: a pleasant one.
Current Music: Jeru- Come Clean (instrumental)
chapstickchapstickchapstick


it's easier to write off the world every time we start
About this Entry
scream
Apr. 7th, 2005 @ 11:31 pm you'd probably celebrate if you ever felt this way
Current Mood: full of swings
Current Music: Sol.Illaquists [of sound]- Markit Place








About this Entry
Apr. 7th, 2005 @ 12:21 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: guilty
Current Music: Prodigy - Memphis Bells
it's 12:22pm and I'm at home. I really don't care about school enough right now. I try. I. JUST.DON'T.CARE. THOUGH./ BLAH BLAH BLAH I'D RATHER UPDATE MY STUPIC LJ THAN GET TO CLASS ON TIME


I think my mom is the only thing that can keep me in check. I usually woke up on time solely so I would not have to hear her complaining at me before I went to school. Because knowing that she was even slightly pissed off or upset with me, could make my entire day uneasy. I miss it; her complaining, her moodiness. The shit she gave me for the things I did.
Perhaps things have gotten too laid back around my house. If I was ever slipping in any area of my life, my mom was too smart to not see it. She always had something to say about it, or me... and at the time I hated it.


i should really grow up.

or go live with mom.

one of the two needs to happen, and the second of the two is not likely.
About this Entry
purge
Apr. 6th, 2005 @ 10:02 pm (no subject)
About this Entry
Apr. 6th, 2005 @ 07:28 pm left to scream doom from the gutter
Current Mood: destroyed by self realization.
Current Music: cLOUDDEAD- Rifle Eyes
was I always like this... ?
About this Entry
purge
Apr. 4th, 2005 @ 01:10 am cash.rules.every.thing.around.me.
Current Mood: rescued
Current Music: RJD2- The Horror
I finally got the job at BedBath&Beyond after almost 2 months of "interviews" and bugging/pursuing them. My life is about to get a lot better, my gosh.










aww.

About this Entry
Apr. 2nd, 2005 @ 02:34 pm so,
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: ludacris- the potion
micheal jackson is dead!

two-dozen sleeping pills will do it to yuh.

*edit*

ah i just found this too.
http://theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4111 ???

weird weird. ok so the FAKE mj died?


*edit* 4/4/05

so am i guilable or what?
About this Entry
Apr. 1st, 2005 @ 07:48 am goody gumdrops
Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: Plaid- Shakbu



i do like this one a lot though.
About this Entry
purge
Mar. 29th, 2005 @ 11:43 pm what are you thinking
Current Mood: vicious
Current Music: Circle Takes The Square- Non-Objective Portrait Of Karma






I'm still debating on whether i like this picture or not.











[Garrett, I miss you, please arrange a time for us to see one another and let me know... I know you'll see this. Having not been with you/really talked to you for nearly 3? weeks is doing a number on me, no joke...
About this Entry
scream
Mar. 21st, 2005 @ 09:46 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: stopped up
Current Music: UNKLE - unreal
I just realized I was included/briefly written about on the recent DA article, "TWENTY" XIV... an artist spotlight type deal.


---
"onelikejess's photography seems very spontaneous. But that doesn't let it be shallow or visually unappealing. Great art is truly within everyone's reach. All you need is imagination."
---


http://news.deviantart.com/article/17215/

haha.

I'm number 15.


made me smile, anyway. I was wondering why my page veiws were increasing so suddenly.


something i took today:


mod:bryan:moretocome?


[edit]no this is not the same person as in my previous entry, they resemble eachother a little bit, I guess.[edit]
About this Entry
scream
Mar. 19th, 2005 @ 01:01 pm riddle me this
Current Mood: im o.k.
Current Music: Eisley- I wasn't Prepared




My spring break has been nothing short of chaotic/random.

-but enjoyable.

I'm really not ready to go back to school. I'm in some 'trouble' over truancies. blah blah. what's new.
About this Entry
Mar. 17th, 2005 @ 05:25 am why do i keep dying in public
Current Mood: play dumb.
Current Music: Sole- Save The Children


let this be a lesson
let us be cheapened
let's not be the lesser
let's beat around the bush 'til my brain rots and apples fall
and everyone indulges and enjoys, and maybe dies of cancer.
About this Entry
Mar. 9th, 2005 @ 10:21 pm (no subject)







it's what you don't know that makes you a team player )
About this Entry
Mar. 9th, 2005 @ 01:36 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: unorganized as fuck.
Current Music: has become repetitive.
EVERYONE SHOULD REFER SOME MUSIC TO ME. I NEED NEW TUNES.
About this Entry
Mar. 9th, 2005 @ 08:26 am (no subject)
Current Mood: morning body aches ahhhh!
Current Music: Cinematic Orchestra- Channel 1 Suite
ruffneckting: YOUR LIFE IS PASSING YOU BY

Auto response from onelikejesss: waiting for my wakeup call.

ruffneckting: STOP SLEEPING SO MUCH THE EARTH IS REVOLVING AND YOU'RE ONLY WASTING THE MINUTES
ruffneckting: THE MINUTES UNTIL PEOPLE DRAIN ALL THE FLUIDS FROM YOUR BLOATED CORPSE
ruffneckting: AND SEW PARTS OF YOUR BODY IN CERTAIN POSITIONS SO YOU WILL EVEN REMOTELY RESEMBLE A HUMAN BEING
ruffneckting: AND PEOPLE CAN LOOK AT YOU BEFORE THEY BURY YOU IN A BOX
ruffneckting: LAYING IN BED IS ONLY BRINGING THAT CLOSER
ruffneckting: THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT
ruffneckting signed off at 1:08:00 AM.



you make me smile.
About this Entry
scream
Mar. 7th, 2005 @ 07:29 pm ignore my foolish rants, GOD.
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: EPMD- The Invincible
I don't understand why people insist on being so obsessed with eachother.

girls and boys. girls and girls.










and when you say you love someone, make it stand for a lifetime or something, anything. I don't see the point of publicizing the "greatness" of a friendship, only to hate eachother a week later. You don't know what it means to love.

oh well, it's all for popularity anyway, right?


that's all i can gather from it.
About this Entry
purge
Mar. 6th, 2005 @ 06:46 am i forget why i write these things down
Current Mood: high
Current Music: Sole - Furthermore
I'm having major itches to edit some photos but my computer is currently without editing software, as it has been for the past... hmmm wow I don't even know, I've kinda lost time perception of the past week or so. But it's been awhile... and i guess i have to resort to livejournal tonight. It's okay though, Jason is coming over tomorrow to [put] some software back onto my computer, where it belongs, because apparently I am incapable? of doing it.

I love jason, I don't know what i'd do without him.

anyway.

Today I worked on a major research project for English and went bowling with some people, including my dad.


[substance]



blah nevermind, it's 6:24AM, I can't sleep in too late, I am going to bed.

picture for you:



darn, another:



[source:wooster.collective]

Also, sole has got to be, by far one of my favorite writer/musicians. I was looking over shows in austin, and the lineup for SXSW, etc... and was very happy to see he will be in austin some time relatively soon. I'm too lazy to look up the date right this moment, so someone who knows should comment. I must close my eyes.

yes and good.night/morning/sleeptime.
About this Entry
purge
Mar. 3rd, 2005 @ 09:04 pm its the ultimate ultimate ultimate
Current Mood: accomplished.... NOT.
Current Music: Sage Francis- Tolerance Level


if only you were miiine sweet thang. )
About this Entry
purge
Mar. 2nd, 2005 @ 12:08 am (no subject)
Current Mood: pitter patter
Current Music: Roots Manuva- Join The Dots


Oh Lord I feel so sensual And every now and then I get a great sense of wha... )
About this Entry
scream
Feb. 27th, 2005 @ 07:50 pm ifeel strong ifeel rigid
Current Mood: defenseless
Current Music: Margo vs. Thunderball - Let Everything Be
I think I better get back on my medicationkillmenow... i'll never defeat myself. I cannot take the torture of my out-of-reality mind, no matter how much I tell myself that it is who I am, or that it is worth it.

this, I sadly realize. I tried.

crycrycry.

startagain startagain.

Things on the homefront are still stressfull as hell... I think I'm having bad mommy-withdrawls or something. I can't believe how much I never see her anymore... I never thought things would be this way. Ashlee has been staying here with me the past week, because her dad kicked her out. pshh.
It has helped me a lot, her being here. Except I don't get to pick her up from work tonight and bring her home with me like I usually do cause she's got stuff to do with her mom... blahhh.


clay pigeon.

I wouldn't front the scene if you paid meI'm just the way that the doctor made me, on, and on, and on,and on/Love is the red of the rose on your coffin door/What's life like, bleeding on the floor,the floor,the floor.

doom.
About this Entry
purge
Feb. 27th, 2005 @ 12:13 pm I REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO EAT SARDINES FOR DINNAH
Current Mood: like my one of a kind self
Current Music: Jay Z feat. Notorious Big - it was all a dream
i'm so grateful for beautiful weather like this.

mmhhmm.
About this Entry
scream
Feb. 24th, 2005 @ 09:15 pm how predictable.
Current Mood: manic
Current Music: Dilated Peoples- Proper Propaganda
well, no more boyfriend.
About this Entry
purge
Feb. 23rd, 2005 @ 10:00 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: im in a sign language classroom.
About this Entry
Feb. 21st, 2005 @ 09:38 am just look.
Current Mood: READY FOR SCHOOL, YAY!
Current Music: Dillinger Escape Plan- Sugar Coated Sour
http://www.day19.com/v3/
About this Entry
Feb. 20th, 2005 @ 11:34 pm aww. no cut for you!
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Micranots- Exodus











btw, [info]gorgeousgarrett
About this Entry
Feb. 20th, 2005 @ 07:11 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: restless
Current Music: My chemical Romance- Thank You For The Venom
im going to die if i have to smoke another skydancer. someone visit and bring me a pack of decent cigarettes while im stuck in my house. you looove meeee.

yay


garrrr


blagh
About this Entry
Feb. 19th, 2005 @ 11:22 pm coronado
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Funki Porcini- Dubble
About this Entry
Feb. 17th, 2005 @ 11:38 pm found this...
Current Mood: weird
Current Music: Walls Of Jericho- All Hail The Dead
made randomly for me by [info]getitonthefloor



cuuute

.
About this Entry
Feb. 17th, 2005 @ 01:17 am (no subject)
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Souls Of Mischied ft. Zero 7- 93 til Infinity
not sure why i'm posting an lj-friends collage. )
About this Entry